You get something, I get something.  I’ll buy your therapy.

Dish out your self-portrait. Be creative + crafty or dangerous + sharp.  Be you.  Exaggerate. Pour out some paint, throw in some mud, use your fingers, and make a mess!

Why should you waste time with chunks of crayon, erasers, and glue sticks?

Therapy.  It feels really good.  And who isn’t a tad narcissistic these days?  Check out my mermaid waves. Also, I’ll include a link to your website if you want some attention.

Other than a free therapy session (unleash your inner tarantula or unicorn), I buy you a drink. Since I can’t and won’t take you out for a drink, I’ll send you a drink via snail mail.  (Spend it on cotton swabs or jelly beans if you don’t drink alcohol.)

I get the doodle, and you get the drink.  Win-win-WIN.  There are stipulations, of course.  And I don’t just give drinks away.  Effort is necessary.

Here’s what you get when you give:

Share a self-portrait with your story, and you’ll be savoring a delicious PBR in no time. $3

→Bacon beer in your belly.  Submit a diorama with the story, and you will taste the meat in no time.  Cheers.  $5

→If you are eco-friendly and apply organic materials to the caricature (with story), then salt up the arm, a tequila shot is on the way.  Tequila! $7

→Ambitious and dangerous?  Two drawings with two stories = One delicious dirty martini.  Encourage a friend to play! $9

→Delight your friends.  Collect 5 self-portraits + stories.  Send.  Celebrate with a round of shots.  $21

It’s easy to submit.  Fill out the form.

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The genius artistry of the west coast makes me want to relocate.

The genius artistry of the west coast makes me want to relocate.

I’ve never been to Portland, but I’m ready to move there tomorrow.  Maybe.  Is it because of the roses?

No folks, it’s more about The Drink & Draw. It’s pure social-genius in an artistic form.  A group of artists, of all levels, meet at a bar on Sunday night and have a few drinks.

Anyone can start their own drawing or add their own artistic touch to a creation that’s chillin’ in the center of the table – just waiting for some magic.

The concept is captivating, and the scene actually happens in other cities as well (Sacramento, Montreal, and Seattle).

I want to play.  Anything near me?  I’ll look into it.   New York City can always use more collaborative opportunities for artists of all levels. Take a look and check it out if you’re ever visiting P-town or the other locations.

The Beer Dragon was created by Stuart Hiner at a recent Drink & Draw

The Beer Dragon was created by Stuart Hiner at a recent Drink & Draw event

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In mathematics, my nose equals the uniqueness quantification. There is one and only one. That’s why I like schnozzles.  Unless you’re Heidi from the Hills, your button is probably pretty rare.  Do let your nose speak its own language.  Don’t pick or prod … in public.


drawing & story by Kira Zmuda

Moving beyond the world of beaks, I fancy a few other elements in life: imperfections, laughing, and playing with messy art supplies.  Really messy.  Combining all three is absolutely sublime.

Next time you complain about your frog legs, jiggly arms, frizzy mane, or big bootay, break out some crayons!  Take a few minutes out of your busy schedule (translation: 5 less minutes on Facebook), and create your own caricature.  Be brutal.  And be your best friend.

We all have an image of ourselves that we carry around.  It doesn’t mean it’s true.  I like to think that I have long mermaid waves.  Do I?  Sure, when I fry the hell out of my hair with my crimper on a rare occasion – like Cinco de Mayo.

I do not wear exotic flowers in my hair as I prance around the city, but I have always wanted to rock that look.  I’m searching for the right flower for my debut.

The curve of my mermaid hips erases all rigidness from my path.  Inflexibility – clear the way, fool.

Damn chicken legs.  I’ve been around them for a while so we’re no longer foes.  We’ve joined together amicably.  Sometimes, when I look in the mirror, I see the splitting image of a rooster – minus the wattle.  I’ll have that one day too.

Doodle.  Draw.  Paint.  Play with mud.  Create yourself.  Good and bad.  Embellished, grotesque, minimal, flamboyant, etc.  If you can’t laugh about yourself, then what the hell is wrong with you? (kindly asked)

I’ll post any of your lovely art.  I’d love to share so please send.

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