The genius artistry of the west coast makes me want to relocate.

The genius artistry of the west coast makes me want to relocate.

I’ve never been to Portland, but I’m ready to move there tomorrow.  Maybe.  Is it because of the roses?

No folks, it’s more about The Drink & Draw. It’s pure social-genius in an artistic form.  A group of artists, of all levels, meet at a bar on Sunday night and have a few drinks.

Anyone can start their own drawing or add their own artistic touch to a creation that’s chillin’ in the center of the table – just waiting for some magic.

The concept is captivating, and the scene actually happens in other cities as well (Sacramento, Montreal, and Seattle).

I want to play.  Anything near me?  I’ll look into it.   New York City can always use more collaborative opportunities for artists of all levels. Take a look and check it out if you’re ever visiting P-town or the other locations.

The Beer Dragon was created by Stuart Hiner at a recent Drink & Draw

The Beer Dragon was created by Stuart Hiner at a recent Drink & Draw event

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You are truly a blessed person if you have the privilege of entering the mystical world of Medieval Times. And if the Big Lady above is really looking out for you, you may even get two visits under your armor.  Once you know the wenches by name, you become a M.T.G. (Medieval Times’ Groupie) – just like The Cable Guy.  I won’t judge what I may one day become.


Photo stolen from Darren Lasso esquire all rights reserved

I learned a few important things as a big kid at Medieval Times.

1. The Green Knight of Asturius is the hot-tempered warrior. He’s arrogant and stubborn – the exact qualities that most women desire. He was my favorite. I met him after the show, and I was very disappointed to learn that he was a modest, polite man – there wasn’t even a hint of sarcasm or annoyance in his voice.

2. There are only nine castles in the United States. What a shame. I can knock off the Illinois & New Jersey Castles from my hot-spot destination list.  Lucky maiden I am.

3. Don lofre Santa Creu, aka the B&W Knight, always wins.  It would have been good to know that secret prior to sitting in the blue section. The Blue Knight blows. I did feel some compassion for him as we left the castle. He looked blue so I told him he put up a good fight (a special moment captured on camera).  He didn’t though. Green Knight should have won.

4. Perspectives change. The knights looked a tad bit different than I remembered as a 9-year-old kid. The shock didn’t hit me until I saw the knights up-close. I’d guess these guys might be around 19 or 20-years-old max.  Not how I remembered them at all.

5. I’m digging the long-haired Legends of the Fall, Brad Pitt-look. I feel a comeback. When the economy starts growing, mark my word, the hair will too.

6. Eating the feast without utensils was not as thrilling to me as an adult. It’s just the norm. Maybe I should re-evaluate my dining style.

7. As I was told by my teenage waiter, and retold by Don Temple, there is no after-party at Medieval Times.

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Day 28 was a boisterous one – filled with my magical birthday boots (below), bubble blowing, bacon beer, and my new favorite spot: Barcade in Williamsburg, NYC. Who wouldn’t want to spend a day playing Gauntlet, Super Mario Bros, Frogger, and Tetris while burning through some high caliber Coney Island amber beer?


I’ve almost graduated from my month long high-heel challenge, but for some reason, even on day 28, I did not feel close to the finale. Perhaps summer school is needed before I toss the graduation cap in the air and receive my stiletto.

I’ll be honest, I might need more time in this challenge because I cheated a little. It was a dark day in February. It snowed. My feet found their way into sneakers. It didn’t mean anything, I swear. Thankfully, my roommate called me out on my bad behavior, and I took off the running shoes immediately.

I suggest that you get a friend, foe, or family member to be your bully during the challenge. It helps. Believe me.

But it’s spring now, and my excuses are finito. I’ve grown surprisingly comfortable wearing any heel up to 2″ which is a huge improvement. Once I get above the 2″ mark, I’m still a bit skiddish.  I’ve completely worn out a few of my reliable work heels.  You can do a lot of damage in 28 days!

Let me be frank. I’m still figuring out what I want to accomplish with these extra inches. I don’t know exactly what I want to feel, but I’ve felt really comfortable recently – it’s odd how the confidence level seems to rise with the foot pain. I’m slightly concerned about long-term damage to my feet. For now, I’m okay. This show will continue.

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Me Pirate Has Stubble

March 3, 2009

legopirate21Humor changes with every person, every height, and every culture.

But come on mate, who does not chuckle when you wake up next to a Pirate?  A LEGO Pirate … with just the right splattering of stubble.  I have always been a fan of facial hair.

My squiffy pirate joined my life last Friday after a visit to F.A.O. Schwartz. I had wanted LEGO loot back in me life for a long time, and I finally bought the booty.

As soon as I got back to my ship slash apartment, I immediately dived into the bucket of adventure.

The creative juices were squirting all over the place, and I built my dream house with multiple floors and an ideal outdoor living space for Dandy Lions, millipedes, and sunlight.

Blimey! One block got loose, and half of me house crumbled to the floor. I tried not to get irritated, but at that point I went to the kitchen and poured a glass of spirits for me-self.

Building, building, stacking, building. Memories flowed. Back when I was a lass, I was in fact a LEGO Master.

Yo-ho-ho! The house crumbled again.  Another sip of spirits. Or two. Or three.

I had originally thought the night would be relaxing, but I was getting fussy. I mean – I remember my castles breaking here and there when I was a lass, but I did not remember such frustration.  Sitting on my bed, as an adult, I felt more immature and impatient than ever. I gave up on my dream house with my sexy pirate. I walked away.

An hour passed. I could not ignore the fact that me pirate needed a home. And I had an empty shelf waiting. The coffee mug was not suitable for any matey of mine. I strutted my sewall1a-legs back to my bucket of toys. And damnit, I built.

Look at the handsome home.

I do need ye to help me with a name for me stubbly mate. Does my pirate look like a Rufus or Billy? Suggestions welcome. Aye?

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